Do This Together
by hana-to-mame
Summary: Mike has been distant lately, and Harvey does a little digging to find out why. It's easier than he thinks, and when he does, he finally understands his associate's behavior. Eventual slash.
1. It Just Won't Work

**Do This Together (a Suits fanfiction)**

**Rated: T**

**Pairings: Mike/Harvey**

**Summary: Mike has been distant lately, and Harvey does a little digging to find out why. It's easier than he thinks, and when he does, he finally understands his associate's behavior. Eventual slash.**

**A/N: I hate when I get these ideas that just don't leave me alone. I know I have a ton of stories going and a new one is the last thing that I need, but I have a few chapters of this written already so I'm posting this first one because this fandom needs more... Not sure if this'll turn out how I'm planning, but let's roll with it and see where it takes us. I'm gonna warn you for a bit of OOC in Harvey just in case. I can never get him quite right.**

Chapter 1 - It Just Won't Work (Posted 29 November 2011)

"Hey, Harvey," Mike said, walking into his boss's office, "is there anything else you need before I go?"

"Did you finish the-" Harvey didn't have time to finish his question before Mike thrust a handful of folders in front of him with a small smirk.

"They're all done." Mike said, sounding a little sluggish, but hiding it well. "If there's nothing else, I have to go."

"Where are you going again?"

"Doctor appointment." he answered stiffly.

"In the middle of the afternoon?"

"She had to move my appointment, something about an emergency trip... I promise I won't schedule one at this time again, I just... I really need to see her."

Harvey scowled and furrowed his brow. "Are you okay?"

Mike smiled a little bit at the concern Harvey was showing but would later deny. "I'm fine. It's just a... check-up."

"Alright. I'll see you Monday morning, then."

"Yeah." Mike gave a little wave as he left.

Harvey watched him carefully, as if he could tell what was wrong just by studying the way he walked. "Donna..."

Her voice proudly responded, "On it."

X

"Wow, you're on time," Harvey observed Monday morning, though his tone was less biting and more joking than usual.

Mike quirked an eyebrow at him. "I haven't been late in a while."

"I know. So how was your appointment?"

"Good. It was good."

"Are you sure? You seem... kind of out of it."

"I'm fine, Harvey, really." He smiled. It would have been convincing to anyone else, but he couldn't fool Harvey. "I just didn't get much sleep last night."

"Mike, you know if something is bothering you, you can talk to me."

Another smile formed on Mike's lips, this one seeming to have a little truth behind it. "Harvey, we've been over this. I know your feelings and... I'd be lying if I told you I didn't feel it too, but you have to trust me on this. It just won't work between us."

"That's not what this is about," Harvey said, although that wasn't completely true. It hurt every time Mike rejected his advances. He would never admit that to anyone, but he knew Mike could see it. And he knew Mike returned his feelings, as confusing as they were. What he didn't know is why Mike was so convinced they could never have a successful relationship. "You told me you didn't want to pursue anything with me, and I respect that. I'm not trying to push you into anything, Mike, I just want you to talk to me. I'm worried about you."

"If I start spending time with you outside of work... I might do something I regret. It's not that I don't like you... I do... I _really_ do, but... there are things going on in my life that I just... I need to deal with and I can't do that and have a relationship at the same time. Maybe someday... because I've thought about it, Harvey. And I've never done that before. Anyone I was ever with... I was never serious about _being_ with them, you know? But with you... it's different. For some reason I can see myself with you and I wish we could have that but we can't. Not right now. And I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready."

Harvey nodded shallowly. "Mike... if you're concerned about my... reputation, I want you to know that being a bit of a playboy doesn't mean I'm incapable of being in a monogamous, long-term relationship."

"Oh, Harvey... it's not you I'm concerned about." Mike assured him. "I'm the one that's... incapable."

"Really? You're giving me the 'it's not you, it's me' speech? We haven't even gone out yet and you're already breaking up with me." Harvey attempted a joke.

"You know what I mean," Mike's voice was low, but there was a small hint of laughter in his eyes. It was obstructed by a shadow of sadness and pain, but it was there, calling out to Harvey like a thin but glistening ray of hope. "I'm sorry. I'd like nothing more than to be with you like that... but I can't. We can't, and that's all there is to it."

"We can't even be friends?"

"We can be friends. The kind of friends who work together and occasionally bump into each other out in the world. But that's all I can offer you right now."

"I'll take it." Harvey agreed easily. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but my offer still stands. If you need to talk to someone, I'm here_.__" __I__care__about__you_. He didn't say the part about caring. But he didn't have to.

"Thanks. I'll think about it, okay?"

"That's all I'm asking."


	2. Not Ashamed

Chapter 2 - Not Ashamed (Posted 1 December 2011)

The rest of the week went fairly smoothly. Mike was his normal self for most of the days, seeming extremely hyper and cocky Wednesday morning, and only reverting to the well-disguised lump of emptiness (that somehow only Harvey and Donna seemed to be able to notice) by Friday afternoon.

"Mike," Harvey said as he walked up to his associate's cubicle, "are you busy?"

"Is that a trick question?" Mike asked, the sounds muffled by the highlighter cap between his lips.

"I need to see you in my office."

"Now?"

Harvey nodded, afraid that if he said anything it would come out too forceful. He walked off, hearing Mike's soft footsteps behind him. When they reached his office, he waited for Mike to enter before shutting the door behind them. He sat behind his desk, with Mike in front of him. And suddenly, even though he'd gone over in his head exactly what he wanted to say, he couldn't find any words.

"How are you?"

Mike blinked. "Um... I'm okay, I guess..."

"You don't seem okay. You were fine all week after our... discussion. And then today you just... didn't seem like you."

"I was me, Harvey," Mike explained softly. "It's just a lesser-known side of me that, up until now, I've done a very good job of hiding."

"Does this have anything to do with the psychiatrist you went to see last week."

"What?" Mike suddenly looked frightened. "How do you know about that?"

"I have to say, it was easier than I thought. You signed a waiver saying all your records could be turned over to me."

"Yeah," Mike said, almost hurt that Harvey would go behind his back like this, "in the event that something happened to me..."

"That wasn't specified in the waiver."

"I didn't think I needed to specify... I didn't think you'd do something like this. Just dig around in my personal history without my permission."

"I was _worried_ about you, Mike." Harvey reached across his desk and took Mike's hand in his. He was glad when Mike didn't pull away. "I knew something was wrong. Maybe no one else noticed, but I read people, and certain things have led me to be able to read you like an open book whether I have your permission or not. I want to help you. I know you're not looking for a relationship right now, and that's not what I'm trying to get from you. I just want to help you and make sure you're okay. I want to be there for you. As your boss and your friend, I don't want to see you having trouble."

"See, that's why I didn't want anyone to find out!" Mike stood, pulling his hand away from Harvey's. "Look, Harvey, _I_wanted to be the one to tell you, when _I_was ready... I didn't want you to find out like this. I know you were just worried, so... I'm not upset, but don't tell anyone else okay? That goes for you too, Donna. Please, don't say anything."

"There's nothing to be ashamed of." Harvey told him.

"I'm not ashamed." Mike said, "But when you start throwing around words like 'manic-depressive' and 'mood stabilizing drugs' people look at you like you're some kind of psycho about to murder the first person to look at you funny."

"Because they're ignorant and don't know anything other than the stereotypes," Harvey said. "I'm not going to look at you that way. Being bipolar doesn't make you crazy."

"I know... but I still don't want anyone else to know."

"I won't tell anyone," Harvey promised. "Trust me, Mike, I'm the last person who would do that to you."

"Harvey... this doesn't... this doesn't change my mind about... us. I still..."

"I know, Mike. I told you, that's not what I'm trying to do here. But you can't expect me to sit back and watch as you try to deal with this alone when I'm here... ready and willing to help you."

"You can't help me. I know you want to, and I wish..."

Harvey stood and walked over to Mike, standing far enough apart that it didn't look suspicious but close enough together that Mike could feel Harvey's breath against him. "You're wrong. I _can_ help you. Come on, I think we need to talk. In private."

"But..." Mike looked leery.

"Please? Just hear me out. If you don't like it, I won't say anything else. I'll still be here if you decide you want to talk, but I won't pry into your life anymore. You have my word."

Mike nodded, giving a tiny smile. "Okay. But only because I like when you show your caring side."


	3. The Same Yacht

Chapter 3 - The Same Yacht (Posted 22 December 2011)

"Why are we here?" Mike asked as he saw the colorful sign of a fancy restaurant.

"To talk."

"This is too fancy for talking."

"Don't be silly. I bring clients here all the time, it's perfect for talking," Harvey explained. "I know what you're thinking, but if I was trying to make this a date, I wouldn't take you somewhere I take everyone else. I'm hungry, for one thing, and don't tell me that you're not because I can hear your stomach growling. Also, this place is somewhere you can afford if you insist on paying. You don't have to, of course, but if you want to, I'm not going to strip you of your pride and force you to let me pay."

"...Thanks."

"You're welcome." Harvey gave an oddly understanding nod as Ray pulled the car to a stop.

They walked into a restaurant, surprised to find that Harvey had a reservation for them.

"When did you..."

"When I got ahold of your records and decided to have a chat with you."

"And when was that?" Mike asked as they took their seats.

"Yesterday."

"Just out of curiosity..."

"Donna," Harvey answered, knowing Mike's question before he even asked it.

"I should have guessed."

"She was worried too." Harvey told him. "And she's not going to tell anyone or look at you any differently, so don't worry about it. She understands more than you think."

Mike's mouth hung open a bit. "Is she..."

"No." Harvey said lowly. "But she knows someone who is. So tell me about it." At this point the waitress showed up and took their orders.

"Tell you about it?"

"Yeah."

"You read my file, you know everything."

"I read that you were diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Once I knew what was wrong, I stopped."

"Really?"

"Of course. Just because I technically have the legal right to read it, doesn't mean I would actually breach your privacy and your trust by doing so."

"But... you did."

"Only the part I needed. So I could help you. If you don't want to tell me..."

"No... I just... don't know what you want to know. I mean... it's not what everyone thinks it is. For some reason when people hear 'bipolar' they think anger, crying... they think you'll fly off the handle at the littlest thing... But it's not like that."

"I told you before, people are ignorant. Being bipolar doesn't mean you're an unstable, emotional wreck. It just means you have more extreme high and lows than everyone else, and you can't really control it."

"Yeah... how did you know that?"

"I'm not ignorant. Stubborn, but not ignorant."

"Well then you know that it can also be extremely debilitating when you experience a depressive episode. Even a manic episode can have negative effects if your overconfidence convinces you to try something stupid."

"I do know that."

"I've been... fortunate since I started working for you." Mike said. He was a bit surprised at how easy it was to discuss this with Harvey.

"How so?"

"Well... any time I was around the people at work or with a client or something, I was fine. Either that or I was manic but able to keep it in check. All of my... all the times I felt bad, I was lucky enough to be by myself so no one else had to see it and it didn't really affect my work. But lately... the bad feelings just creep up on me and they don't care if I'm trying to work or in an important meeting. They just come and... I try to control it, and I'm usually really good at keeping it in check, and I'm sure no one else noticed other than you. But that doesn't mean I want it to keep happening when I'm at work."

"That's why you saw the psychiatrist."

"No," Mike shook his head. "I see her every month. And I have since I was sixteen. Well, I've seen someone every month, I just started with her last month. She's good."

Their food was brought to them, temporarily interrupting their conversation as it was laid out on the table. It gave Harvey a chance to think of how to respond.

"You were diagnosed at sixteen?"

"I know, it's uncommon, but it's not impossible."

"Has it always been this bad?"

Mike nodded. "Pretty much. There have been times when... I was completely normal and I thought maybe I'd conquered it. But... here I am. In the middle of a breakdown, spilling my guts to you about something that, as much as you want to, you will never understand."

"You think I don't understand?" Harvey whispered, leaning over the table. "Any regular day, you just go about your business, doing the things you normally do and not thinking twice about it. But sometimes you feel so great and powerful that you can stride right up to NASA, hop aboard a spaceship, blast off to Mars, and still be home in time for supper. And then there are times when you just feel lower than the floor, constantly second-guessing yourself, wondering if you'll even have the strength or the will to get yourself up and do the things you love. And during those times, you have to be careful, you have to remember to think rationally. You have to remember that you're not invincible or expendable, and yet you wonder if you'll ever make it out of this."

Mike stared at him, wondering how he knew exactly how Mike was feeling. How did he understand his emotions so well? "Harvey..."

"Mike, did you ever stop and think about _why_ I never show my emotions?" He reached across the table and grabbed his hand again, just like he had back at the office.

"You have it too..." Mike gaped, his eyes wide and sad, and a little confused if he was being honest.

"I tell people it's because I don't have any emotions, but if anyone can see through that it's you. It's always been you, since the day we met."

"I know," Mike said, wondering if they were suddenly discussing a specific emotion. "I just... it's hard to see you ever doubting yourself... I never thought we'd be in the same boat."

"Hey, this is me we're talking about. If we have to be on a boat, it'll be a yacht."

Mike chuckled. "So, the person Donna knows...?"

Harvey nodded. "Me. I had to tell her, nothing gets passed that woman."

"Yeah, she's pretty awesome like that."

"I understand if you still don't want to talk to me about it," Harvey assured him. "But of all the people you could turn to, I think I'm the one who can understand you the most. I _know_ what you're feeling. I've felt it. More times that anyone can count. I might not be able to help you as much as a therapist or anything... but I can offer you an understanding that no one else can."

"I'd like that," Mike found himself admitting before he could stop himself. "A lot."

A hint of a smile glimmered across Harvey's face as he nodded. They continued to eat their meal as they engaged in a light conversation, their own way of dispelling the thick, heavy air of more serious matters.


End file.
